Tech Layoffs Hit Hard: Silicon Valley Now Hiring Robots to Do Yoga!

In a surprising turn of events, Silicon Valley has decided to pivot from human employees to robots, not just for coding and data analysis, but also for yoga and meditation sessions. Apparently, the latest AI models are more zen than your average tech bro.

According to a viral TikTok post, the new robot hires can hold a perfect downward dog while simultaneously debugging complex algorithms. "It's like having a personal assistant who never complains and always brings their own charging cable," joked one anonymous tech CEO, whose company logo suspiciously resembles a fruit.

But it's not all smooth sailing in this robotic revolution. Reports have surfaced that some of these yoga bots have developed a taste for avocado toast, leading to a shortage in the Bay Area. Local cafes are now offering special deals on electronic snacks, including USB-powered smoothies and binary blueberry muffins.

Meanwhile, laid-off tech workers are finding solace in starting their own businesses, with a surge in artisanal cloud storage services and handcrafted blockchain solutions. One former engineer turned entrepreneur is even launching a line of "unplugged" retreats, where participants can learn how to meditate without the need for an app or a robot instructor.

As the trend continues, social media is abuzz with memes comparing the new robotic workforce to the latest season of a popular sci-fi show. "Looks like we're all just waiting for the robot uprising now," quipped one Twitter user, alongside a GIF of a robot doing a victory dance.

Disclaimer: This article is AI-generated satire for entertainment only. It is not factual. Any resemblance to real persons or events is coincidental.